Monday, March 29, 2010


Alas, it is true, I blogged about productivity yesterday and behold: today I am sick. Quite ironic.

But this too shall pass. Perhaps it's God's way of hinting to me that I am too busy for the good of my health. I know there are too many times that I get carried away with getting things done that I neglect my very body and my well being. This is so wrong! And I know it, yet, time and time again I abuse this temple that God has given me to care for. These are the days that I must use to remind myself that if I have not health, especially due to my own poor choices, I have willingly limited my overall productivity for God's work.

Honestly, this is me being blunt with myself: Buckling down on getting regular rest is the biggest factor I'm dealing with. This is my biggest challenge. I exercise regularly and love eating healthy foods, but I know that Satan knows my weaknesses and preys on this one concerning rest quite readily; He tempts me to push harder to the point of exhaustion more than I'd like to admit. But it is time for me to place this temptation in my Father's hands with the rest of them, because I know He will help me gain victory over this as well.

About a month ago I began praying that God would begin to show me more of my flaws and help me address them. This was a scary prayer to pray and I'll admit I had been putting it off, though I've been praying that He will continue to do so because I'm ready to become more whole in Him, more ready for battle in His armor and not trusting in my own walls.

It's been interesting thus far, but I'm thankful for what He HAS shown me. He's helping me grow in Him. I could not ask for so many miracles! He has bestowed kindness upon me in this process and I am learning to trust Him more. That can be hard in this Adventist Mecca that I live in. It's easy to think you're doing alright spiritually, but I want to be more than alright. I want to be prepared.

However, the bottom line is that I'm thankful to know that I am changing; be it slowly, I am changing. Every time I slip-up and get frustrated or neglect rest or whatever it is that I'm battling at the time, I KNOW that God sends me reminders of His love each time. He calls us back to Him, grace ready to bestow.

Today I'm thankful for being under-the-weather. It's given me more time to spend with Him.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15,16

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Overrated Productivity?

Though I could say this on a daily basis, today is a new start to the rest of my life. Isn't that awesome? Each day is new: a gift. Each breath is given and granted, filling us with energy to face each moment. I'm thankful for this. So many times I focus on getting things done, adding to my list so I can mark yet another thing off. Accomplishment. Looking at the black markings, crisscrossing, circling and scribbled all over my list, my goal always to exceeded my expectations.

Yet... sometimes I fall behind. Sometimes I lack the necessary vigor to attain expected productivity. Hard times ensue. Isn't it interesting how we are often our harshest critic in life? It's easy to allow self-inflicted disappointment to creep in our minds in an all-too consuming manner. However, I'm thankful for the reminder that my life, the sum of anything I could ever accomplish, is not enough. Yes, I said it. My life is and will NEVER be enough to gain the type of joy or contentment that I know I long for. This could be a rather dismal realization, but instead I choose to take this realization for the treasure it is: No amount of works could attain the salvation that I so desperately desire. No amount of accomplishments will build me a stairway to heaven. No amount of labor or good deeds or self-proclaimed productivity will save me. Why? Because "the GIFT of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

And I praise God for this GIFT. I praise my father for loving me so deeply that he grants me oxygen to breathe words of His love to those I come in contact with. Though I must remind myself that productivity is important, I must also remember that I am productive because I desire to be productive in Christ: To do His work. I desire for my heart's desires to be in song with His.

Thank you Father for your Gift of Life. Help me to be active in your love, showing it to those around me. Grant me productivity in You. Thank you for your grace and for once again providing me with the money to pay for school. Father, you granted me with the exact amount once again. Help my life to be a testimony to your gift of love.

Friday, March 26, 2010

It's been too long

I have four minutes before class, and my computer is about to die on me. However, I am simply writing to admit that I have completely neglected my blog in a rather ridiculous manner. Writing has always been an out for me. My mind begins to turn rusty wheels as I type here now. With so much to write I'm not sure where to begin, but, I know that I have plans to disclose very soon :)