Thursday, August 5, 2010

Here is Your Friday...

Alot of things come to mind upon the contemplation of Friday's definition: day of relief due to the coming weekend rest; a sort of breather from the week, another day of work for some, or my favorite: Day of preparation.

But why do I wait til this day to prepare for Sabbath? Sure I'm not off going crazy during the rest of the week, but I'm certainly not ALWAYS intune and the room of my heart is not always as clean as it should be. I will not pretend that I am perfect; I am not beholden to the world. Yet there are times when I feel I have a debt but am in the dark as to whom I need to pay. These are the days that come with clouds covering eyes and slowing steps with threat of failure.

On Fridays I feel most the results of this debt lifted. I remember I need not lean on my own strength, but on the everlasting arms of One who Knows and Loves me best. He knows everything about me and yet I continue in a state, bereft of knowledge concerning his character all because I do not take the time.

Naturally one will be drawn to have love for another who continually demonstrates love for them, and thus I had been drawn to claim my love for Christ. My desire is to continue to know Him better and to share what He has done in my life with others. Like preparing on Fridays for Sabbath, I want to start this semester with a clean slate, a clean heart, and a realization that Christ has already given me the victory: I just have to go out and claim it. Like the picture at the top, I don't want Christ to come and ask why my house/heart was clean last week but not this one. A shame that would be indeed...


Sogno... Dream... While listening to the thunder outside on this grey day, I'm taking a short break from cleaning. Though sitting down with the intention of resting, resisting the urge to write was impossible. Having not written in far too long, which is my usual story, it feels so good to touch the keys. Filling my room is the sound of Andrea Bocelli's song Sogno, one of my favorite love songs. It's lyrics are so beautiful that I find parallels of God's deep love for us between the lines, and though I don't allow myself to dwell on worrying where my "love" is very often... I feel it today.

Perhaps it is due to the time I've had lately to process and journal more about where my life is at... and I will admit...I pray for him. My prayer is not for God to bring him to me right NOW. Haha, rather my prayer is that God will continue to grow his character and mine so that when He does bring us together we may work to bring others closer to Christ. I'm not looking for someone to "complete" me and I certainly hope no one is looking for me to "complete" them. I'm confidant that God is helping my "Mr. Darcy" realize that he is only complete in God too. God certainly completes me (thankfully He's not finished with me yet... but He meets me where I am). Glory and bliss! My heart is in his hands. I forget the first time I realized this... but it was a lesson learned with burdens lifted! It is difficult to separate one's realization of love from that of the world's version, but it can be done.

I praise God everyday that I am single because I know He is working in my life, and I would rather be single and happy like I am than with the wrong person, or please forbid, hurting someone because of unsure feelings! To tell the truth I don't even know why exactly I'm writing about this or being this candid with my feelings, but if someone reads this and gains something from it then I praise God for that.

Being complete in Christ is a great gift, a continual process, and goes against everything Satan would have the world tell you concerning how to be a whole person. But God... God gives us guidance, fills our souls and gently shows us what his character is like. The more I get to know my creator through prayer and His word, the more I desire to be like him. The time I have now to grow in Christ is precious. Before he leads me to my husband I am learning how to be the best daughter of the King that I can be: someone who will be uplifting, respectful, supportive and encouraging to this man He is preparing for me. My desire is to work as a team for Christ, to share His love with others... but I'm not waiting to be married to be a light for Christ. My life is a mission now, and I pray that Christ will continue to guide me in my walk with Him.