Wednesday, September 23, 2009


As I rip open the cereal box with a sigh, I notice large, angular words printed across the front of the box: 2 BONUS BOX TOPS!

Now they're trying to tell my subconscious that I should be excited about them "rewarding" me with two extra pieces of cardboard that I can cut out and send to them to help further the funding of some education program because everyone in the government, donkey and elephant alike, keep arguing about how neither gives a ducky about getting more funds for education, and our children are receiving a less dedicated education than some of the third world countries I've been to. Whew, man. Glad I got that off my chest.

Walking around for days, facing sour-faced people, sad-face, tired-face, mean-face, despair-face... ugly-face... the latter not being because anyone fell out of the the ugly tree; these are handsome people with characteristics of health and vigor wishing to show through, but due to this cycle we're paying to plague ourselves through we are daunted by tasks felt impossible. Hearts are heavy, skies grey and lives intimidated to the point of self-admittance into dark boxes. Will the sun shine anytime soon?

I've been putting down "Exercise" in my schedule for weeks now. I've gone running a grand total of twice. My head is yearning for endorphins, my belly willing to run from anymore carbs. School these past weeks has not been conducive to a healthy, balanced lifestyle; a rollie pollie waiting to uncurl, I wish I'd stop getting poked!

I doze, I run in circles, I do homework, forget to eat, then eat too much... Then I do it all over again. Yesterday I was on top of my A-game, the day before I was drowning. Today I was granted to come up for air once, and by this evening I would love to even have a B-game goin on. Tomorrow: well that's another adventure, but through it all I am praying myself through. It's the only thing I CAN do without fumbling up. In this entire process I've discovered how many-a-woman gives up on the dream of "settling down." Shoot. I wouldn't have time for a man if I wanted one right now. Plus, I certainly do not desire to wish more problems upon myself. It's not that I'm not at all open to considering anything, but for now, singleness is the shiz. And it looks as though by the time it's all over with, prince charming is going to have to do some shaking of the shoulders to wake me up from this trance. God's willing that he can.

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