Dissatisfaction

Hanging on with bare fingers to the edge of a rocky cliff, my hands turn white as all blood rushes from my weak grasp. With my own strength I climb on, weaker with every maneuver. In my mind I'm already falling. In my mind I've already lost the battle. So, so tired, physically, but especially mentally from my constant yearnings to be better, to be stronger, to try harder. I've lost all focus, straying towards this nagging vertigo.

What AM I DOING!

When I finally take time to shut my eyes, the dizzy feeling becomes worse for only a second before fleeing my body. Time and time again it is the same. I'm baffled by the dissatisfaction that riddles my mind with doubts. Yet, I'm rocked into a greater reality when I stop to ask for help and help is given. Instead of starting my day hanging from the side of a rocky cliff, I should be opening my eyes to the red letters written so clearly for me to see. I could be reading the map and walking the road up the hill that's been placed before me, not watching my hands turn white from weak attempts to see over the mountain.

Today, just like I should EVERYDAY, I choose to give my life to the only one who has been down my road before. I'm choosing to take the time to sing the blessings from my heart to my Father in Heaven. Give my time, my talents, my wandering mind to him that can mold me and shape me into the daughter that he can lead. I'm done with cliffs and jagged edges. I choose to walk the road today. I may still slip and stumble, but my heart is ready for a change.