Saturday, February 26, 2011

Sometimes maybe is ok

Many times I stress out over ridiculous stuff. Being a bit of a perfectionist I despise making mistakes: this unfortunately keeps me from experiencing new things sometimes. Not petty stuff like trying new foods. I'll try new cuisine any day. I'm quite at home in any kitchen. I'm talking about things like rock climbing on actual rocks... not just man-made walls. I'm too good at putting up my own walls... even too busy trying to scale over them. I'm curious about what's on "the other side," but I don't know where to begin. That's where being a perfectionist comes in...

I end up either doing the same ole' same ole'... or nothing at all.

...And that my readers... is pathetic.

Where is my trust and my faith in God at times when I feel overwhelmed by the "newness" of certain stuff? I need a job this summer. It's the first time in seven years I have not known by this time of year what I will be doing with my summer.

And that scares me.

My heart of hearts would like to venture out and do photography and freelance design for my summer. I know two things: I need money for school, and that I'm capable.

But it's new...

...And I'm afraid of messing up.

As of now I have one wedding lined up to do photos for...


But that's something. I know my Father in Heaven has never let me down before. I want to use my talents for him, and to be a witness for others. I feel it is time that I start perfecting them more, and I know that only through Him will I do well. So, for now I'm praying, beginning to design my business cards, and taking it one step at a time.

I may not be a rock climber, but I'm not ignorant enough to think that they jump from the bottom of the rock to the top.

So I'm stuck with a bunch of "maybes" for now.
As long as God knows what those maybes mean and will place my hands and feet on the steady rocks that move me upward to Him, that's all I need.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you
not more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:25, 27

photo from


krista said...

hmmm. good thoughts you have. i needed to hear that. :)

theInsideChange said...

Thanks amiga. We just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other :)

Martin Shaw said...

This reminds me of what Jesus says to the Disciples in Luke... Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and not one will fall apart from the father's notice. Even the hairs on your head are numbered, and how much greater are you then the birds... I absolutely love that text, and the text you quoted... It also reminds my of EGW, and her thoughts on Matt. 6:32. She says that God only equips us for what we are to deal with THAT DAY. We must wait to deal with tomorrows problems tomorrow, because we aren't ready for them today. Hard, but a beautiful concept! Thanks for the blog!