It ain't Gilligan's Island!

Well folks, it's been nice blogging on a more regular basis of late... however, I'm taking my leave for about a week. I'm expecting it will be a leave of the lovely type. If I have any epic stories, upon my return I shall be more than happy to disclose. Until then, may you find the greener grass on your side of the fence.

Bon voyage

{photos via www.visit-the-bahamas.com}

Sometimes maybe is ok

Many times I stress out over ridiculous stuff. Being a bit of a perfectionist I despise making mistakes: this unfortunately keeps me from experiencing new things sometimes. Not petty stuff like trying new foods. I'll try new cuisine any day. I'm quite at home in any kitchen. I'm talking about things like rock climbing on actual rocks... not just man-made walls. I'm too good at putting up my own walls... even too busy trying to scale over them. I'm curious about what's on "the other side," but I don't know where to begin. That's where being a perfectionist comes in...

I end up either doing the same ole' same ole'... or nothing at all.

...And that my readers... is pathetic.

Where is my trust and my faith in God at times when I feel overwhelmed by the "newness" of certain stuff? I need a job this summer. It's the first time in seven years I have not known by this time of year what I will be doing with my summer.

And that scares me.

My heart of hearts would like to venture out and do photography and freelance design for my summer. I know two things: I need money for school, and that I'm capable.

But it's new...

...And I'm afraid of messing up.

As of now I have one wedding lined up to do photos for...

One.

But that's something. I know my Father in Heaven has never let me down before. I want to use my talents for him, and to be a witness for others. I feel it is time that I start perfecting them more, and I know that only through Him will I do well. So, for now I'm praying, beginning to design my business cards, and taking it one step at a time.

I may not be a rock climber, but I'm not ignorant enough to think that they jump from the bottom of the rock to the top.

So I'm stuck with a bunch of "maybes" for now.
As long as God knows what those maybes mean and will place my hands and feet on the steady rocks that move me upward to Him, that's all I need.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25, 27


photo from www.alaska-in-pictures.com

What's New: Christina Perri

So, thankfully I'm not going through any sort of heart ache at the moment, haha, but if I WAS going through a break up, I would have this song on repeat. Perfect post breakup song. I'm also loving the choreography in the video. Beautiful.

I heard of this artist after watching a clip of "So you think you can dance" with a couple dancing to this song.


Christina Perri: Jar of Hearts

New Photo shoot

I recently did a photo shoot with my friend Jessica Weaver to begin the process of designing a CD. These are some of my favorite products of the shoot. Hope you enjoy!

The 1,2,3s of Spring: Some very worthy finds

Sorry, I haven't posted in a several days, life took over, but I found some great stuff for you, and... I know I re-blogging about a couple of items, but what's better than repetition to signify importance? Anyway, the rest is all fresh. I even made a fantastic play list for you to tune your ears too. Check it out below!

Cool new trends: Great for the college student who needs a mental break and some creative inspiration. Or, for those who don’t have time to look up from the books to catch a glimpse of some very splendid finds.

1. The music scene:
Yes, it’s true I have scoped out some fantastic tunes and have put together a music playlist just for you Southern.
I know it’s a long url, but it’s worth a visit:
http://tinyurl.com/southernplaylist

Specific musicians you may want to check out are three of my most recent favorites: Garage Voice, Aaron Beaumont and Ivan Colon. What’s more awesome than Adventist musicians playing real music? Totally boss stuff. These guys are all fantastic and their sound is mostly of the indie/folk rock/blues genres. Listening to them is like giving your soul a little hug.

2. Rue Magazine:
For those of you who are in love with magazines, this one is fantastic. No, not your typical fashion and beauty magazine. Instead, it incorporates spreads on a mix of stylish vintage and traditional home décor. Not only is it’s content engaging; it also incorporates fresh design that offers great inspiration during a needed mental break. And the best thing about it: you can subscribe for free to their issues because it is an all-online magazine. Genius.
Visit www.ruemag.com

3. Fashion:
For those out there who care, I did some research on the up and coming color palate for Spring 2011 fashion. The top ten colors are: Honeysuckle, Russet, Coral Rose, Regatta, Peapod, Blue Curacao, Beeswax, Lavender, Silver Peony, and Silver Cloud

It’s a nice mix of warm and cool shades and will match a variety of skin tones. So whether you dig a more earthy palate or a brighter, colorful one, this spring’s clothing line should meet your fancy. Way classier than a couple of years ago when they had some puke greens and an overwhelming plethora of corals in all shades. Not everyone should be walking around in peach folks. This spring’s palate offers hues that range from exotic and spicy to traditional and organic. Happy shopping!

Bonus find: Tulips are the new rose

Photo by Aimee Burchard
For the sake of spring and couples…Ok boys, word of advice: Roses are cliché. Get a new default flower. Try Tulips. They are definitely the new rose and the cost is on par. White tulips are very classy and dainty, and if she has a favorite color they come in a wide array. Also, if you don’t cook and you’re invited to a potluck… Trust me when I say, spending $5 on some flowers for the hostess will score you big points and costs less than making a dish. Enough said.

Gimbie Adventist Hospital: Mossy foot

I'm determined to find a way to raise money for Gimbie Adventist Hospital in Ethiopia. I have a project in mind and it will specifically be directed towards helping eradicate mossy foot (podoconiosis).

This health problem affects above 1 million people in Ethiopia (around 5% of the population). If you are interested in how this project unfolds stay-tuned to more posts here on my blog.

I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time, because I cannot imagine the suffering of those with mossy foot, but I am excited because I know we can make a difference simply by creating awareness about the disease and we can provide hope for healing. By the grace of God, may He be the driving force behind this project. Southern Adventist University is about to get a chance to be involved in changing people's lives.

Please pray as I attempt to push this project forward, and look for updates here as it unfolds.

Garage Voice

Thomas Panigot, Bruce Pearson, and Patrick Toney of Garage Voice

Cookie cutter... Not these guys. It's hard to find real music, played by real musicians, with real songs these days. That's why I've decided to start posting about them when I do stumble across worthy musicians, and Garage Voice is totally boss. To be honest I've been listening to their music for a year now, but I've decided to share their capitol stuff with you guys. I first learned about them from my dear friend Angela McPherson, and have been hooked ever since. Please, check them out. You won't regret it.

The above is a screen shot I took of their website. Definitely worthy of a visit. http://garagevoice.com/videos/

And finally, before I take my leave of this post: This is a great video that they have of their song Loud As Your Miracles. Enjoy!

Loud As Your Miracles - Garage Voice from Eric Whedbee on Vimeo.

Group photo found on google.com

Fantastic I say, fantastic!

So I recently stumbled across a fantastic find: Rue Magazine.

For all my fascination and obsession for fresh, vintage spins on home decor, this magazine fits my fancy. Please, by all means check it out. It is an online magazine and I am absolutely smitten with it's content, cover and backside. All of it is put together by a fantastic team.

So without further ado, I bring you: http://www.ruemag.com

Turn that Frown Upside Down...

So it's 3:08 a.m.

Fun times.

I really abhor the fact that I seem to be a hopeless nightowl.
It has so many drawbacks:
* I breakout with more acne easier... so please excuse my face.
* It makes one gain weight if your not careful...
* I end up hopelessly exhausted the next few days...
* I often seem to be attempting to discover things about life that I may have missed during normal, non-nocturnal, human hours...
* and... I generally dislike existing in such a drowsy state...

However, I must examine the reasons I continue on in my ways:
* I get great creative bursts...
* I believe I am convinced in some strange way that I will make some fantastic discovery about myself... or life in general...
* I think that I could come up with an ingenious tangible or at least visible reflection of my creative abilities...
* and.. I must somehow hate going to bed... which I always wonder at because when I end up placing my body there I always marvel at why I didn't get there sooner and I seem to have a certain adoration for the feeling of clean sheets against my skin.


Interesting.

So it's snowing outside... it began a bit before midnight. The required attendance of my education is canceled for tomorrow, and I have a mountain of homework to do tomorrow. I didn't have my devotions today, prayed little, made some delicious soup, got groceries... pretty-necessary to eat... didn't do my laundry... I sang my lungs out to some great karaoke songs, and only started homework around 1 a.m: which all pretty-much = if school wasn't canceled tomorrow I would be in deep personal aggravation. It's funny the forms that grace takes. I have high hopes for more productivity when I wake up in the morning.

Life isn't cookie-cutter. But it's real. I can complain a lot. But honestly, at the end of the day I can't really look back and pick it apart for the negatives. What good would that do me? For every negative event I can usually find a positive, if not SEVERAL positive experiences to trump melancholy feelings. But sometimes it just feels good to be in a bad mood. The important thing is to not stay grumpy.

Turn that Frown upside down.

My God knows. And I know He does.

Fin

Back to the Drawing Board... and bounding forward...

Well, I'm all packed and have loaded everything into my car: School bound. What this new semester will mean for me I have no clue yet, but if last semester was a note about this one, then I shall be decently happy. I'm content with this thought... I must be, for lots of things could go really wrong, and a lot of things could go very much right. I'm looking forward to watching the right that's going to come from the wrongs and watching the rights that simply become AMAZINGLY right. Who knows, I could be anywhere and accompanied by any number of awesomely-lovely people; I could accomplish goals I have yet to further define, and... I could become closer in my walk with God.

These are decisions I will face, often many choices will define what happens in detail this semester, but ultimately it is my choice to be happy and thankful for the life God is leading me in. I ask for His guidance so I won't have to make blind or ignorant choices. I thank Him for where He has brought me from and what He has taken me through, trusting that this semester He shall be by my side once more.

Turning point

I've been led to another starting point... though still the continuation of a chapter I've been working on. I have no desire to make resolutions I shall not keep this year... Resolutions are pretty cliche... when I think about it. I already exercise, I only lack the ability to sleep on a regular schedule like a normal person and I've already been trying my hand at remedying that problem for years. The only difference is that I'm tired of a couple of things recently brought to my attention after some much-needed reflection: I am weary of caring so bloody much about what other people think and I'm exhausted from looking out for # 1 all the time. There I said it. I'm done. If I do something to annoy you, by all means, walk away, do not grace me with your presence of fake civility anymore simply because I could possibly do something to further whatever means of living you yourself are trying to enhance. We have all been out for number one at some point or another, but my resolution is about my character. I have to shake my head even thinking about the irony of my resolute desire to change in parallel with the very NAME of my blog: "the inside change."

Honestly. Where do I get off twirling around in self-constructed narcissism? My prayer, is to work on my character. I'm tired of being selfish: people don't have to seem selfish to be selfish. I'm tired of looking out for # 1 all the time and I pray that I may stop this constant commentary and planning in my brain via constant "play-by-play" concerning how to always come out on top of my game. There is a bit of exaggeration as I describe myself, but this is how I feel sometimes about the way my brain processes: chock-full of selfishness.

God, correct me, perfect me for your work. Guide me in shedding this layer of selfish thinking and help me to reach out to your children.

In the Quiet of the Night...

Last night I lay on my bed, head in my hands as I found myself mulling over the same things I seem to habitually think about. Finally, when I realized my train of thought was only taking the same well-trodden paths (paths one can only mull over so many times before they become monotonous...) I finally stopped everything simply to listen. Some of my favorite sounds are those of nature: early morning 5 a.m. as the world awakens from its slumber and late, late night... As it happened it was one-something at night and I was still not sleeping. Confession: I usually sleep with a fan on, in need of some steady background noise, but as I had just decided to lay in silence I made no move towards the fan. Steady was the patter and splash of the raindrops outside my window, the wind seemed personified as the breath of the night's deep slumber. The trees with their branches like a tender hand, brushing the hair from its face of fear.

Yet, despite the occasional moan from the restless breeze, there reigned a calm that seemed to stem from somewhere deep... a sigh as the wind passed my window, as if knowing the morning would bring the answer to whatever questions held the dark blanket of worry over the night's eyes. And so I took the advice from the sounds of the night and slept. Can I say I found answers to my questions when I awoke this morning? I can not, but I'm learning to continue in God's strength and guidance as I wait. I'm learning that I can be open with God about even my most frequent doubts. I know He has done miracles in my life - I have many answered prayers accounted for and to testify of - Regardless, it remains difficult to wait for the one thing I've been praying for, for what seems like years. But, I trust that God is working steadily there too - as He is working and has worked in the smallest details of my life... and just as steadily as he listens to my heart when it is lonely, impatient or confused about my future. He, above all, understands me and I know Him as my dearest, most precious friend and I only hope to understand Him more as I continue on paths of discovery in this life.

A Groovy Christmas Playlist

Enjoy listening!

Chewy Brownie Cookies

This is a favorite cookie recipe that we pull out for all sorts of occasions, but it is perfect for Christmas with a cup of hot chocolate or glass of eggnog. I hope you love these as much as we do and I wish you a merry merry Christmas!

Chewy Brownie Cookies

2/3 cup shortening (or butter)
1 ½ cups packed brown sugar
1 tbs water or milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup Hershey’s Cocoa
½ tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
12 oz package of semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use Ghirardelli)
1 cup chopped nuts

*Baking tip: add a squeeze of lemon juice to the batter: This activates the baking powder and keeps cookies softer longer. Another way is to place a slice of banana bread in with your cookies in the storage container because this also keeps them moist.

Directions:
Heat oven to 375 degrees.
In a large bowl, beat shortening/butter, brown sugar, water and vanilla on medium speed with electric mixer until well blended. Add eggs; beat well. Stir together flour, cocoa, salt and baking soda/powder. Gradually add to sugar mixture beating on low speed until blended. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoons on cookie sheet.
Bake 7 to 9 min or until cookies are set.

Cool 2 min, and remove from cookie sheet to foil paper or cooling racks.

I like to serve these fresh from the oven.
Enjoy!

FAIL... or not to fail...

I really don't have much to say, other than the fact that I had not yet realized how much I'd allowed school to take from me... in light of being rested and maintaining my creativity this semester. Yet... as I sit here at 12:55 this Friday night, in the quiet of my living room, I've already devoured one book through and through: finally time to read! Most of my household have found their beds, my dozing siberian husky is at my feet, and the hum and crackling of a warm fire is in the hearth... I won't be found wanting... regardless of how I am tempted to feel: exhausted. However, I shan't succumb to the wearies placed in temptations way for me to exclaim ownership over. It's so simple: look for the curses and the misfortunes and ye shall find them; look for the blessings and the gifts of grace and ye shall find them.

What have I to complain of? So I am in debt from my pursuit of education. So I am exhausted mentally and physically from this same pursuit... I am alive. I can feel my blood pulsing through my veins and through my yearning heart. It's a heart that wishes to continue to know my Savior more and to not be quieted as it was this semester in the din of all chaos and attempts to control destiny... It's a lonely heart at times, yet, beats for the cause of health and vigor to continue forward... to see what lies ahead.
I must express a peace at finally being home after such a semester and am contented to see how my holiday pans out.

And ps: one particular delight of my evening was the moment when my own dear mother decided to comment on her disdain for a certain mac product not meeting her expectations. She promptly stated aloud, "FAIL." :) Oh the things we pass on even to our parents.