What's REALLY Happening in Honduras

The following video is an explanation of what is and has been going on in Honduras. It is closest to the truth concerning the events that have been happening with Zelaya. My mother is a Honduran citizen, and though she is now a resident in the United States, the rest of her family still lives in Honduras.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I agree with the stance the US has taken concerning these events. I am truly sad about this. As an American I desire to stand behind the decisions my country makes. But also as an American I am given the freedom to make decisions on my own, to be open minded and to speak freely. Thus, I have chosen to look at this situation, examining and hearing out the different sides. And I have chosen to disagree with Obama and the OAS.

They are not respecting the constitution of Honduras and seem only concerned with patting others on the back. Ultimately I feel ashamed of what they are making America out to be: Supporters of Communism. Our country stands on a strong and beautiful constitution, and I am proud of what the United States represents, but our administration of late has seemingly been trying to do a pretty-good job of erasing the foundation of what we stand for straight from under our very feet. May God truly bless America and may we remember who we are and in Whom we trust.

Please watch the following with an open mind and pray that God will guide you to take the stance that is correct. We don't have to agree, but, I maintain that respect is important.

Dissatisfaction

Hanging on with bare fingers to the edge of a rocky cliff, my hands turn white as all blood rushes from my weak grasp. With my own strength I climb on, weaker with every maneuver. In my mind I'm already falling. In my mind I've already lost the battle. So, so tired, physically, but especially mentally from my constant yearnings to be better, to be stronger, to try harder. I've lost all focus, straying towards this nagging vertigo.

What AM I DOING!

When I finally take time to shut my eyes, the dizzy feeling becomes worse for only a second before fleeing my body. Time and time again it is the same. I'm baffled by the dissatisfaction that riddles my mind with doubts. Yet, I'm rocked into a greater reality when I stop to ask for help and help is given. Instead of starting my day hanging from the side of a rocky cliff, I should be opening my eyes to the red letters written so clearly for me to see. I could be reading the map and walking the road up the hill that's been placed before me, not watching my hands turn white from weak attempts to see over the mountain.

Today, just like I should EVERYDAY, I choose to give my life to the only one who has been down my road before. I'm choosing to take the time to sing the blessings from my heart to my Father in Heaven. Give my time, my talents, my wandering mind to him that can mold me and shape me into the daughter that he can lead. I'm done with cliffs and jagged edges. I choose to walk the road today. I may still slip and stumble, but my heart is ready for a change.

I'd Rather Go Blind

This song is so strong. It is one of the best love songs. Etta James is the original singer, but Beyonce does a beautiful job in her own style here as well. I'm pretty sure that if my heart ever gets broken badly... I'll be sing'n this song.

Not that I'm planning on getting my heart broken anytime soon... haha... but I was just listening to this tonight and wanted to share it cause it's such a fave of mine.

Giving the Red Stuff

The lady from Blood Assurance keeps calling me. "Aimee, when are you going to donate blood? Your O- is very important since you are a universal donor."

I keep telling her I work at camp, AND I don't have a car, but that I plan on coming when I can.

She called again this morning. In the middle of cabin share my phone rings... HOW EMBARRASSING... the ONE time I have my phone on me during a camp function. Surprise. It rings. Finally I explained to her for the ga-billionth time why I haven't made it in to donate this summer, even gave her my camp spiel. And made sure to sound like I cared even more than I do by asking how long I have to wait to give blood after a trip to Central America. "Twelve months," she says.

After practically swearing my right arm to her before I leave the country, she leaves me with a, "Thank you so much, have a nice day."

"Maybe she won't bother me for a year then as soon as pump out my blood for them." Only one of a few sarcastic remarks that rolled around my brain during the course of our conversation.

Usually during the school year I give around every two months. Giving blood is important to me. Once, when my grandfather was in the hospital I got to donate blood specifically for him. There was just something important to my heart knowing that I got to give back to him some of the life, the blood, that he passed on to me through my dad.

Giving blood is just one way for me to help save a life, but sometimes I wish I did more life saving. How can I expect to save a body physically, when I'm not showing them how to be saved spiritually; How to keep their heart pumping, but not how to save their soul praying?

This year, no, this day, I hope God will guide me to save a life. Haha... and perhaps to take some of my sarcasm and self-centeredness away.

Maybe I can start with the Blood Assurance lady.

The June Bug that Thrives in July

I have this innate fear of walking along and getting hit in the neck by a flying, zooming, reckless June bug. Upon impact I assume my ears to be filled with a zap and buzzing sound, my skin left tingling as six stickered legs poke its surface, and all around me twould be greeted with either the yelp of my shock or the scream of my horror. The only other place worse than one's neck to be greeted by a bug of any sort is the ear. Disgusting.

By-the-by I will note that I probably swallow close to 2-3 gnats each week on average. All occuring in a quite unwilling manner on the account of both parties... gnat and myself. Ahhh... sometimes I just feel camp is the life.

Some Sabbath Inspiration..

"Then Jesus came to restore in man the image of his Maker. None but Christ can fashion anew the character that has been ruined by sin. He came to expel the demons that had controlled the will. He came to lift us up from the dust, to reshape the marred character after the pattern of His divine character, and to make it beautiful with His own glory."

E.G.W. Desire of Ages p.37, 38

One of my favorites. A beautiful reminder of His gift, and of my desire to be reshaped.

A Favorite Quote:

"To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others."
- Anne-Sophie Swetchine

Love is unconditional, it does not boast, it is not easily angered. Learning to love is the lesson of a lifetime. Just when we think we have all the love in our hearts we would ever need, someone comes along to test our theory, our patience, our very balance. I liken love to a plant: You water a plant to make it grow, and you must ask for God to "water" your heart with love so you may cultivate it. It must be tried and stretched and practiced. It grows. It must be shown and given and recieved. It grows.

When we do not feel it growing, when we feel like our love is enough, that is the very instant in which our love is subject to loss.

Don't let love become an endangered species. We have enough of those already.

One of Those Days...

Curiosity killed the cat? If you aren't curious... do you live forever? I think not. In fact, I believe that it is our inner curiosity that begs us to learn how to gain eternal life... It is the "uncurious" who do not live. This was just a random thought I just had, yet I don't have the brain power at this hour to run with it. I'm tired. I'm cranky, and I want my bed. Why I'm not already settled in my cold room inside that warm sleeping back with my blanket wrapped around me I have only one excuse: I'm a slave to communication.

It's one of my majors in college, it's something I do. Communication is engrained in my very soul. I call my parents, I call my friends, I write, I sing, I wave my arms, I make faces... I communicate. And often times it keeps me from getting to bed. About this I am not exuberant. But first I will make a list of events that happened to me today:

1. Got my first bug bite of the summer. Yeah, don't be too jealous... I don't even wear bug spray.

2. Learned the names of all the girls in 2 cabins... aka... 24 names! And they are as precious as pie!

3. A bug crawled up my leg and I thought it was a spider. That was just gross.

4. Fell up a hill today... and even rolled... haven't fallen in a long time... don't plan to for a long time... only two people saw... I think. haha... at least it gave ME something to laugh about!

5. And my personal favorite (NOT!) I got stung for the very first time EVER in my life... by a WASP! On my California waving finger on my left hand... on the knuckle... Hurt like the dickens. DOWN WITH WASPS!

6. My actual favorite: It was implied by my mum that she has doubts about me ever committing to a relationship... aka... wonders if I will ever get married... lol... ok... so that's not what she said... but I ran with it. And though that's not entirely the case, I will admit I loathe making mistakes, and apparently God is working on building up the patience of the man, cause it's gonna take a lot of his patience to woo me. But I shall expound on these things tomorrow.


As for now... Bon nuit, Buenas Noches, Tai jaa and Good night.

So I've been busy

Writing has been on the back burner for a while in my life... It's something I rather enjoy, but I tried the super-woman thing and I just couldn't fit every caprice-related event into my schedule. Some things had to go.

I'm back in the saddle.
(speaking of saddles I should make an effort to actually get on a real one... afterall there's a bunch of em right down the road. I AM at camp afterall. I will make a note of this)

Honestly, I have heaps to write, and will very, v. soon. However, my time is short and my bed is calling... more like yelling my name, so I will end this with a vow to commence my blogging and a few verses, afterall, it is adverture week here at camp;I will expound upon my thoughts later:

"And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:3

"At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children....Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 18:25,28-30

A little loveliness from E.E. Cummings: a favorite quote

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." --E.E. Cummings."

I find nothing more to add. Thank you E.E. Cummings. You have bequeathed a sense of solidarity upon my soul today; if my soul were a color it would be a spring green of caprice, if my ears have been deaf I must unplug the headphones, what my eyes have not seen I've covered with my hands and habits of ignorant exclusion...so take those hands and part them like my heart, make me open to accept, cherish and love without abandon: I am whole.

One Step Forward... Two Steps Back

Here lately I've been feeling guilty for not writing like I used to, so I'm posting a few of my blogs from myspace that are pretty darn applicable to my current thoughts and musings...This one was inspired by a Katie Herzig song called "I will Follow." A pretty darn-good song. I really appreciate music that gets my mind rolling. Anyway...Hope you enjoy...hope it gets your mind rolling. And I enjoy feedback, so don't be shy.


One step forward, two steps back.

Winter comes and fall fades.

Lovers dream and reality cleans.

I am walking, I am sitting, I am pondering, I am sleeping.

One step forward, two steps back.

I am waiting, I am watching.

I will follow.



I sit backwards on my unmade bed. Home for the first time in two months. It's lovely indeed. So funny how I forget so easily that this is my favorite place. Being in the vicinity of those I trust is not only calming, but simply overall restoring to my very soul.

Feeling lost is an easy thing to do. I've decided it's for the lazy. Sometimes it's for me. But not ultimately. I apparently like to find myself; comtemplation through journaling, writing seemingly empty, random, though soul searching lyrics on a lazy winter Sunday afternoon, all-the-while struming repetative chords on my guitar for hours on end. Reading. Painting. Little artsy things that take up my time, fill my mind, and steal my thoughts from things that matter like helping others.

Some how I continually am bombarded by some thought that I must find out who I am before I can really give myself to others.

I'm pretty sure this is a lie.

I'm pretty sure I should forget myself. Lose myself. Plunge myself into the depths of worldly waters, taking oxygen for those without a line connected to the surface of the cross covered with love enough to breath into their bluing, cold lips. Lips they've tried to warm by other means. My own lips have been cold. My fingers numb from the continual strumming of chords to find my soul.

I have found it. Listen to the crys of others, feel their pain for a moment, forget the apathetic stance of the traditional Christian face that the world so often views, the one who claims unconditional love, while viewing the conditions,double-checking the list to see if it's ok...just give it to them.



JUST GIVE IT TO THEM. TO ME. TO YOU. TO THE DIRTY. THE EMPTY SOULS, THE FULL ONES, THE UNLOVED, UNCLAIMED. OLD. YOUNG. STINKY.

TO THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Am I uncomfortable because I don't think that I can love them, or is it because I know I can, but it will lead me out of my little safe corner? Is it because it requires more than one of my smiles?

JESUS. FILL ME.

May YOUR love fill me. SHOW ME WHO TO GIVE IT TO TODAY.

One step forward, two steps back.

Two steps forward, no looking back...

A Steady Death

Not sure what to call this one...It started out as a "would-be" poem...however...It kinda became its own thing...and I'm pretty-sure I was mad or along those lines when I wrote it...not that you needed to know that :] But yeah...this one's older too...


(A death.) Slow in its wake, yet steady in its canter, a grey mass subdues a relationship long overdue; nibbling at first upon the edges of conversation, savoring the destruction in each bite. Correspondence t'would grow stronger if not doused by careless neglect. Worlds with much in common, dance about different orbits, left to enjoy only the shadows of their being. One world full of hunger yet flowing with much to give; the other is preoccupied, focused on the tasks ahead.

How often they do pass without meeting the others gaze, missing opportunities to find their common ways. Two worlds spinning to their unknown destinations shall continue in their way, missing one another, forgetting what to say; once their conversations, mutual and free from care, now stumble awkwardly forward, dying in mid-air.

Breathing becomes shallow as the connection grows in distance. Pieces of their worlds falling from their grasp, bathing in their own light wearing shallowly chosen masks. With every step apart, their dance grows slightly weaker, declining to admit a friendships looking bleaker. Strong-willed, self-centered adamancy places their circles in the past. A looming fortress of glass walls will to be broken, yet the worlds spin on, silently unspoken.

These two, allowing ignorance to fill their ever widening oceans, drown slowly as they sink beneath their own cold, lonely depths, swallowing the last of happiness past. No fingers dare unclasp the corset smothering their final gasps. A glance missed a word unheard, a greeting destined to fall on deaf ears; the steady death of a relationship; the transparent promise of life. A woven basket for each heart, covers them from the gaze of others; two worlds slipping into the orbits of the worlds around, never to dance again.

Half-Naked

Ever had that feeling creeping through your body that causes your entire being to struggle against spontaneously saying or doing something? Something that makes perfect sense to you at that very moment, yet your brain, however much it yearns for you to carry it out, still resists the urge. A strong impression to climb that tree you just passed...cause you can? To tell someone you care for them or do something to help them, ignoring the stares. Yearning for a moment to sing the song in your head, to dance nomatter who's around, to kick your feet up on the desk and yawn, or rudely roll your eyes? Saying all the silly things that come to mind precisely the moment of their birth, makeing those around you laugh regaurdless of the judgements looming over you, ready to burn with intimidation, deeply engraving scars upon your skin.

The feeling of life...Living as a smooth, transparent piece of glass, polished by the sand around, yet valuable to the smallest observer. Making life more enjoyable for all, more valuable for lack of worry over your own self-image. To KNOW YOUR VALUE. To be assured of it. Living a breathing reality of life made better because you enjoy the simple things and say all the quirky words; those that previously rolled around in your mouth til you believed they became the pearls expected by the world.

Sure we walk around many times in a half-naked state. Momentarily daring to acquiesce to those brief moments of spontaneous self-expression. Allowing our skin to enjoy the essence of a sentence not contemplated, but original. Yet, we continually attempt to moisturize our elbows with "high quality, expensive words" we believe to be nourishing our delicate epidermis. Do our our egos continually thirst? This method of shallow assurance may work for some at times, however, my soul feels the silent aknowledgement of a universal desire. I believe there is, in every identity, a yearning to use something more unique, more earthy and natural on our skin. Inside we can sense that, like hemp shampoo, that original, unexpected, raw phrasing, will lather ohh so much better then the thirty dollar stuff, worded so nicely outside the bottle that everyone else uses.

When will we learn that walking around completely naked is ok. Not worrying what everyone else will think. We all want to do it; at some time or another. We envy those that do, yet shun them at times for their bravery. I want that transparency for my life. I don't want to be the "wanna be hippie", the "I wish I could've said that" saint. I don't want to be luke warm, afraid of germs, of sickness, of the trials of those I yearn to reach out to; to be complete in my skin, without worry, without a mask. If the water must boil for the coffee to brew, then it's time to boil that water and quit drinking tepid cups of weak coffee and using imprudent amounts of pricey lotion simply because it's expected. There. I hear the coffee boiling, and I left my clothes at home.

theInsideChange

Trying to be better. To find truth. The things that make up one's life.

If I could I would change myself in many ways.

I AM changing myself slowly. I prefer to silence my trivial side when possible. Explorer of truth I am. I want to do more. Be more.

I cannot take this body with me.

I cannot take my ring from India from my Great-great-great Grandmother.

I cannot take my guitar.

But I can take my character.


So I am preparing it for the journey of the rest of my life...

theInsideChange.